Gamesylvania

As the Great Bard once observed, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.” Fortunately for Shakespeare, he never had to deal with a hulking, dim-witted giant with a midget strapped to its back. Those of us in the modern world, however, might not be so lucky. When asking for things explicitly by name, you have to be careful; this is the Internet. You are constantly a misspelled word away from certain doom.

On Feb. 8, Sunsoft released a game on Nintendo’s WiiWare called Blaster Master: Overdrive. I don’t have a Wii, so I haven’t had a chance to try it out, yet, but if it’s anything like the original Blaster Master, I’m sure it’s a pretty good game. Blaster Master was one of my favorite games back in the NES days, despite the difficulty level, and I still play it every now and then just because. However, I had a few concerns about the game’s name and similarities with the name of a certain fictional character that you really don’t want to mess with. In short, I wrote up this guide just in case there were any mixups. Botching this up could lead to some dire consequences, so pay attention.

Blaster Master — note that the word Blaster comes before Master — is a platforming game that was released in 1988. It tells the tale of a young boy named Jason whose pet frog escapes and then mutates by growing enormously after coming into contact with some radioactive material. The frog then leaps into a giant hole in the earth with Jason following after it. Deep within the planet, Jason finds an armored vehicle and begins a quest to reclaim his pet frog and rid the underworld of mutant creatures. It’s all pretty much your standard coming-of-age tale. Nothing too strange or unusual to most American males growing up in the 80s.

Master Blaster, on the other hand, is a completely different story. First of all, Master Blaster isn’t one guy, he’s two guys. I know… crazy. Blaster is a big, dumb guy with a helmet and Master is an intelligent, little person who rides around on Blaster’s back. Master is the brains, Blaster is the brawn. Get it? It’s a symbiotic relationship. Together, Master Blaster exists in the post-apocalyptic world of Mad Max and features prominently in the movie Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome.

Moving on, there are other, more subtle differences at play — like the fact that Blaster Master was a pretty difficult game. Finding your way around in the vehicle was the fun, preferred way to play the game. Unfortunately, there were a few “dungeon” levels that you had to play on foot from a top-down perspective. Pretty much everyone hated these sections of the game because they broke up an otherwise decent “metroidvania” type of game. Personally, I thought they gave the game some diversity, except that they really just sucked.

Master Blaster, meanwhile, was just plain difficult. You see, Master Blaster runs Bartertown. He’s the only one who knows how to operate the equipment that keeps the energy flowing in Bartertown. Stay on his good side and you’ll get plenty of electricity to do whatever you please. Piss him off and, well, let’s just say he usually gets his way.

Now, I don’t want to alarm you, but if you happen to come home one day and find a tall, helmeted, sweaty guy with a midget on his back playing your Wii, chances are, you ordered the wrong downloadable game. It’s ok; don’t be embarrassed. Plenty of people better than you have made the same mistake. Just remain calm, give him what he wants and check your receipt to make sure. He won’t hurt you as long as you don’t bust any deals. Also, if he should occasionally cut off your electricity in an embargo and call you up to ask, “Who run Bartertown?” politely, assertively reply, “Master Blaster runs Bartertown.” Don’t be surprised if your voice ends up being broadcast over the PA system; he just really wants people to know that you know that he’s in charge. However, if you ordered a Master Blaster and somehow wound up with Blaster Master: Overdrive, instead, I can’t help you. Maybe call the Nintendo support line.

Hopefully, this clears everything up.

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